Where the hell am I?

What is this compact device covered in numbered buttons on the corner of my desk, and why does it keep ringing?

Who are all these people with too many pens in their pockets, and why do they keep bothering me?

What kind of sane, voting adult has "The Hokey Pokey" as a ring-tone?

Who is "Accounts Payable" and why do they want to talk to me about "purchase orders"?

Where is the plate of candy-cane and tree shaped sugar cookies? Where is the spiced rum?

What are these "project schedules" and "deadlines" I keep hearing about?

Eh. It's too difficult to figure out today; maybe I'll have some more clues tomorrow.

Must be time to go home.

I just carefully wrote out a to do list for the week, threw it into the recycle box. I realized my error roughly two minutes after the cleaner took the box away.