haardvark: (my idol)
[personal profile] haardvark
During a long series of conf calls yesterday, I took a business card and started running it through the gaps between the keys.  Probably not  a good idea.

This keyboard was not originally mine, I inherited it out of a pile of spares.  No idea how old it really is.  The excavation produced the usual crumbs and dust and alarming amounts of HAIR, short pieces about half an inch long, like the former owner had a crew cut and a sudden attack of alopecia.  Having yielded what I thought was most of the schmutz, I sought out one of those wipes to clean the key tops (I figure, once every 5 years, what the hell).  There were no wipes in the new stationery room but there were a couple of packets of this stuff.  So I spent the next hour of my NEXT conf call mashing this green shit into my keyboard and pulling it out again, and rolling the resulting crap and corruption inside until the ball was so hairy and dirty and gross it finally crossed my threshold and I had to throw it out.

My keyboard has never been so clean.  The thing is, though:it feels completely different, and it's driving me nuts.  The key travel is deeper than before, there's less resistance, and no reassuring crunch.  The feedback is totally altered.  It's affecting my typing speed!

Maybe I'll eat a couple of cookies over top and scratch my head for awhile...

Date: 2013-04-10 01:48 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] gundy.livejournal.com
That's pretty gross. I don't know what else to say.

Date: 2013-04-10 01:59 pm (UTC)

Date: 2013-04-10 03:04 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] haardvark.livejournal.com
If only I had taken a pic of the green ball before I threw it out...

Date: 2013-04-10 03:08 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] jdoh.livejournal.com
Now that would have proven that you really love us. Because what shows love more than a green ball of gunk?

Date: 2013-04-10 04:00 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] scout1222.livejournal.com
I love everything about this entry. I barked with laughter at the "crew cut and alopecia" comment, and then you used the word schmutz.

And now I need some of that green stuff. Because I do as you do, but with a paper clip, when I'm on phone calls.

Date: 2013-04-10 04:27 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] whyaduck.livejournal.com
Every once in a while I'll pop the keys off my keyboard, wash and dry them with soapy water, and go full Q-tip on the base. It's satisfying.

Date: 2013-04-10 09:04 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] delphica.livejournal.com
OMG, were there nail clippings?

This entire entry was both horrifying and supremely satisfying.


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